Ron the Wannabe Pimp
by Go-Colts
Summary: This story has absolutely no coherent plot. It is a jumble of words put together in no sequential order, though I have labeled it as humor. Flames are welcome.
1. Default Chapter

A/N—Please flame me for writing this horrible story, and understand that I will continue adding chapters.

            Ron Stoppable, wannabe pimp, was prowling through the hallways of Middleton High.

            "I'll catch you later, baby," he said to a passing stranger who gave him a disgusted look.

            "Uh, Ron, that was a guy," said his best friend Kim Possible.

            "No way KP, she was wearing a skirt."

            "First of all, that was a kilt.  Second of all, it's Scottish day.  Third of all, did you even see his face?  That's Brick Flagg."

            "WHAT?!  Well, those legs did look pretty hairy.  Anyway, the Ron-man can't just stand here idly; he's got some pimping to do."  Kim groaned. 

"Ron, you aren't wearing pants."

            "What, haha, you almost had me you crazy bitch.  Haha, HA—WHA?!  THERE'S NO WAY I'M THAT SMALL!" he said, pointing to an extension on his body.

            "Ron, you're pointing to your pinky."

            "Shut up ho; stay in your damn place," he said, slapping the person standing next to him.

            "STOPPABLE!"  It was Mr. Barkin's voice.

            "Oh shit," Ron muttered to himself, realizing that he had slapped Mr. Barkin right across the face.  "Um, nice weather we're having?"  Barkin just glared.  "This shizzle ain't gonna work on you is it bro?"

            "BRO?  Hey, everyone, Stoppable called me bro.  How about that.  SOUL POWER ALL THE WAY!" said Mr. Barkin, running through the hallways and yelling 'black power.'

            "Anyway, KP, I was wondering…"

            "Yes?" Kim asked flirtingly, expecting Ron to finally ask her out.

            "Do you want to, I dunno…"

            "Go on…"

            "Film me and Bonnie having sex?"  Kim would have slapped Ron, if she didn't feel a wave of tingly feelings crawl through her body.  Unfortunately, those waves were caused by radiation from Shego's gloves, but she didn't know that.

            "RONALD STOPPABLE, YOU STUPID, INSENSITIVE JERK!  You could have at least asked if I wanted to join."

            "Kim, you're hairless."

            "Well, maybe I will be tonight," she said seductively.  "Right now I'm just trimmed."

            "No, KP, you're hairless, as in you have no hair.  As in you're bald."  True enough, the effects of radiation had finally taken hold, causing all of her hair to fall off.

            **Meanwhile**

            "Shego, I'm really sensitive and I want to talk about our feelings for each other."

            "Pour out your soul to me, Trix Rabbit."

            "Well, it's those snotty little childish bastards.  They won't let me eat Trix.  Every time I get a fucking box those little wieners whine to the producers."

            **Back to the Incoherent Plot**

            "So, um, this is my first time, and I really don't know what to do."

            "Well Ron, watch me.  I'll grab your stick like this, and then I'll press the B button."

            "Wow, so that's how you make Mario jump forward!"

A/N—This story is by no means a reflection of my beliefs in any way, shape, or form.  This story is attempted humor; flame me for it!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N—Okay, I had to get this off my chest. I had just finished chapter 1 of the new _The Day it Changed_, which came out to be around 2300 words. I saved it and closed Microsoft Word and went upstairs to shower. I came back down and opened it up with hopes that it was ready for posting and what do I get? IT GIVES ME THE INCOMPLETE 700 WORD VERSION THAT I DOWNLOADED FROM MY EMAIL! Apparently, nothing I added saved, even though I saved around every 4 lines.

Now I have to write this chapter since I am actually irritated.

**Chapter 2**

"Is pimpin' easy?" the TV blared in game show-like fashion.

"No."

"No."

"Hell yes."

"No."

Ron yawned.

'_This is the most boring show ever.' _

_'Except for Major League Baseball.'___

_'True.'_

_' And__ women's basketball.'_

_'True.'_

_'And the Republican Convention.'___

_'True.'_

_'And every show on Lifetime.'_

_'OKAY I GET THE FUCKING POINT.'_

_'Good.'_

_'Just kidding.__ What's the fucking point?'_

How Ron had just managed to trick himself into tricking himself and ended up plain confused is beyond human comprehension.

'_Well, Yugi did it in Yu-gay-ho.'_

_'By the way, I hate my computer.'_

Owned.

**Meanwhile…**

"Wait…you're saying that you have strange dreams?"

"There is one dream where in my dream, I'm Spider-Man. But I'm loosing my powers. I'm climbing a wall but I keep falling."

"Oh, so you're Spider-man…"

"In my dream... Actually, it's not even my dream, it's a friend of mine's dream."

"Oh. Somebody else's dream. What about this friend? Why does he climb these walls? What does he think of himself?"

"That's the problem, he doesn't know what to think."

"Kind of makes you mad not to know who you are? Your soul disappears, nothing is bad as uncertainty. Listen, maybe you're not supposed to be Spider-Man climbing those walls? That's why you keep falling. You'll always have a choice, Trix Rabbit."

"I have a choice…" the white creature whispered to himself. "Also, I hate my computer."

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST PUT IT IN!"

"Chill Kim. It's not that easy."

"Ron. This. Is. Fucking. Level. One. Of. Tetris. DROP THE FUCKING SHAPE."

Unfortunately, due to bad hand eye coordination Ron missed the hole and got a game over.

"I hate my computer."

A/N—I hate my computer. Not just because it sucks, not just because my CD burner isn't working correctly, not just because it deleted three hours of writing, but also because it sucks.


End file.
